For when he's hungry, for when he's lonely, for when it's nighttime...

This is a line from one of the 80's best movies, Poltergeist.  It is what Carol Ann says as she is preparing her canary, Tweety, for burial.  My sis and I LOVED this movie.  It scared the bejesus out of us but we would watch it over & over & over.

It was funny when my mom recently reminded me of this.  She thought they were burying a fish.  I told her I knew it was a bird.  In fact when the mom in the movie finds the dead bird she says, "shit Tweety why couldn't you die on a school day".  I'm going to guess that she would have pulled the replacement bird trick instead of telling Carol Ann the bird died.

I just re-watched this movie around Halloween.  I saw the whole burial ritual Carol Ann performs.  For when he's hungry, she puts a piece of licorice with Tweety.  For when he's lonely she puts a Polaroid picture of her, her brother & the dog.  For when it's nighttime, she covers him with a paper napkin.  They then close the lid of his cigar box casket.

I really like this morbid part of the movie & it just dawned on me why I like it so much.  My mom does this every day of her life for other people.  She is a funeral director and no she doesn't bury pets. She helps people figure out the proper things to say or do when their loved one dies.

People often ask me how my mom does that job.  She has worked at the funeral home for 32 years.  Since I was 8 years old.  I barely remember her doing another thing.  But when I'm asked how she does it I usually say,"can you imagine a better personality for that job?".

I have had numerous friends get to see my mom in action when their relative has died.  They always tell me thank God for her and all her help.  I tell them that's just what she does.  All in a days work.

Now she will tell you some days are good & some are bad.  A day where a 95 year old great-grandmother who traveled the world that dies makes an easier send off then a child or a suicide.  Either way my mom is their to hold their hand and say their final goodbye.

It's just who she is, I don't know how she does it but I'm glad she does.  She is damn good at her job.

"Oh, you & your perfect life..."

This is for my perfect mom on her perfect birthday.  Perfectly happy that is!

A "friend" of my mom's recently made this statement to my mom, "how would you understand what I'm going through since YOUR life is so PERFECT!".  I put those words in caps for emphasis.  I wasn't there for this war of words but I gathered from the fact that my mom was telling me this story that she was not amused.  Not at all.

Footnote:  My mom is the best friend anyone could ever ask for, well at least 95% of the time.  That other 5%, you'd better pray you are with her and not against her or you'd better start praying harder.  In fact, at that point I'm not even sure God could help you.


I had to hear my mom go into this long mumbling rant about this comment.  "Whose life was she calling PERFECT?", she said.  The following rant/timeline of her not-so-perfect life followed.  It goes:
                           Oh yeah my PERFECT life, when my husband left me when I was 25 with a newborn & a 3 year old.  I hadn't had a job in years & only had a high school diploma.  I had to go back to school & had to be there at 7am.  I had to drop my children off at my parent's house when it was still dark outside.  When school ended at 4pm I had to go & pick them up & head home.  At home I had to feed my girls, give them baths, put them to bed & then I still had to study.  I went through years of my parent's failing health.  My father couldn't go 1 year without a trip to the hospital.  And when he was there that meant I had to bring my mother there every morning & pick her up every evening.  My brother didn't help me.  Years later my mother had Alzheimer's & I tried to keep her at home as long as I could.  Eventually I had to put her in a home.  This occurred a few months before my oldest daughter's wedding.  The year my mother died I had already moved that year and had a hysterectomy.  My oldest daughter was diagnosed with MS.  We went through Hurricane Katrina where my youngest daughter lost everything.  My oldest daughter moved 5 hours away & then spent 7 days in the hospital and I couldn't go stay with her.  My youngest daughter got married in Hawaii.  I have watched my oldest become more & more disabled.  I got breast cancer five years ago.  I went through chemo, radiation & 3 surgeries.  All my hair fell out & then it grew back curly.  My oldest daughter moved back home.  And then.......
                          The most perfect thing happened, I got my perfect grandson!

I have exaggerated this recreation slightly.  My mom & I together went through all the "not so good" times just so she could go throw some of them at the offending "friend".  Thing is my mom views all of these things as the "speed bumps" of her life.  You know something she came to in the road of life and she had to slow down, get over it and then look back and say,"see what I did."

My mom wouldn't change a thing.  Her father's years of bad health made her want to be a nurse.  When my sister and I saw her go back to school that made us both study hard and finish college.  My mom lost her hair from chemo and went out and bought 4 wigs.  One of them was her Tina Turner look.  The breast cancer got her a great new set of boobs.  A;; the cancer treatments extended her life to see that grandson being born.  Need I say more?

My mom always says that no one wants an invitation to a pity party.  So don't look for one from her.

Have a perfectly happy birthday mom!