Why I dislike X-mas (b/c my Gran said hate is a strong word)

First things first. My Gran, who was my mother's mother, hated the word hate. Wait, scratch that, she would have never used the word hate. My Gran disliked the word hate. Her explanation was simply this, hate is a very strong word.

So wait, I don't dislike Christmas, I hate Christmas. And if you grew up with my other grandmother, you would know that the feeling you got about Christmas from her warrants a very strong word.

A few days ago, I told a story about my PawPaw. This story is about his wife, my MawMaw. My PawPaw was sweet & he meant well when it came to the bamboo mirror. My MawMaw would have given that to me with the exact intent of just making sure I didn't get what I wanted.

My MawMaw grew up just as poor & with just as little education as my PawPaw. She was still pissed about this fact. She probably still is. Did I mention this miserable person is still alive? The only 1 of my 4 grandparents who still is. I'm convinced she sold her soul to the devil long ago.

If you know me, you well know I would NEVER speak this way of someone. Unless it was all true!

Everyone now needs to get in their way back machine. Go back to, I don't know, the 1st Christmas that I'm old enough to have a conscience memory, and that will do. Every year & I mean every year, my MawMaw told us what selfish children we were. All kids, at some point, during Christmas probably get a little selfish. It's all the hype, it's all the sugar, it's the hype & the sugar. But guess what? Those selfish children, they don't be us!

Oh no! She's starting to take over my thoughts already with her bad education too! Stop the insanity!

Seriously though not 1 of us, not me, my sis, my 2 cousins or even my half brother, are selfish. We all grew up in median households. 4 out of 5 of us went to Catholic school. Still no selfish children here.

The part of the story that might make Jesus himself hate Christmas is the tale of the brick baby doll.

What you say? You mean Cabbage Patch Doll? No! I said the BRICK BABY DOLL! (I said this in all caps so that you would know I was shouting it.)

My MawMaw always claimed that they were so poor that they couldn't afford for her to have a baby doll so all she had to use to make a doll with was a brick. Really woman? I find this hard to believe. Not the poor part, I know that's true she had 9 siblings. Why a brick for a doll? To make it even more pathetic, she said how she had to take a small scrap of cloth to make a blanket for her doll.

It's a brick not a doll! Ok Mo, deep breaths, deep breaths. This memory makes me start to foam at the mouth.

I think next she used to say that they only had 1 candy cane for 10 kids & her father used to take a hammer & break it up & it was every man for himself. Really you could afford tools? I'm shocked he didn't further traumatize you & grab your baby, AKA the brick, to crush the candy cane with!

Deep breaths, deep breaths....

Still don't believe me? I have a sis, 2 cousins & a half brother who are all as scarred by my MawMaw's tale of woe. Even my other half was exposed to this bat shit crazy mess enough that he could testify under oath to it validity.

Now do you know why I hate Christmas?

Guess who I don't spend Christmas with anymore?

Oh wait, never mind, I just DISLIKE Christmas!